Some people take pills, some people see a shrink. I walk. I don’t walk for exercise, I walk to stay sane. I can’t wait until the evening time rolls around. That is my time. My time to clear my mind and soak in the evening stillness.
I wait until this small town settles down and becomes quiet. All I really have to contend with then, is nature. I can’t even count how many times I have come across deer. At first, I was freaked out about them. I remember a long time ago, a woman in the valley got attacked by a deer. Apparently it was mating season. Whatever that means. Frankly, I don’t even want to try to think about what that means.
I also have to contend with dogs. There must be something about me that sends out a dog call, kind of like those whistles that sends out a sound that humans can’t hear, but dogs can. Have you ever heard the swishing sounds that some women make as their nylons rub together while they walk? Or shoes squeak as each step is made? I figure that I must do something like that, only that nobody can hear me, but dogs. Oh, and there is one fluffy gray cat that follows me around too.
Sometimes nature is not what I have to contend with, but its my own crazy mind. It took me several walks before I figured out that the rhythmic flashing light wasn’t someone messing with me, flashing their headlights on and off, but the rotating spotlight at the local airport. Or that shadow racing up behind me was actually my own!
Part of my make-me-sane-again therapy is my good ole MP3 player, or my pacemaker is what I call it. I worry that people try to talk to me as I walk by. Because of my pacemaker, I don’t hear a thing. So, if you see me walking by and try to say hi, and I appear to ignore you– please don’t think that I am stuck up. I’m just insane, working on becoming sane, and a little paranoid– trying to figure out why those dogs are following me, and hoping to God that the deer won’t!