How I cope


Some people take pills, some people see a shrink.  I walk.  I don’t walk for exercise, I walk to stay sane.  I can’t wait until the evening time rolls around.  That is my time.  My time to clear my mind and soak in the evening stillness.

I wait until this small town settles down and becomes quiet.  All I really have to contend with then, is nature.  I can’t even count how many times I have come across deer.   At first, I was freaked out about them.  I remember a long time ago, a woman in the valley got attacked by a deer.  Apparently it was mating season.  Whatever that means.  Frankly, I don’t even want to try to think about what that means.

I also have to contend with dogs.  There must be something about me that sends out a dog call, kind of like those whistles that sends out a sound that humans can’t hear, but dogs can.  Have you ever heard the swishing sounds that some women make as their nylons rub together while they walk? Or shoes squeak as each step is made?  I figure that I must do something like that, only that nobody can hear me, but dogs.  Oh, and there is one fluffy gray cat that follows me around too.

Sometimes nature is not what I have to contend with, but its my own crazy mind.  It took me several walks before I figured out that the rhythmic flashing light wasn’t someone messing with me, flashing their headlights on and off, but the rotating spotlight at the local airport.  Or that shadow racing up behind me was actually my own!

Part of my make-me-sane-again therapy is my good ole MP3 player, or my pacemaker is what I call it.  I worry that people try to talk to me as I walk by.  Because of my pacemaker, I don’t hear a thing.  So, if you see me walking by and try to say hi, and I appear to ignore you– please don’t think that I am stuck up.  I’m just insane, working on becoming sane, and a little paranoid– trying to figure out why those dogs are following me, and hoping to God that the deer won’t!

8 comments on “How I cope

  1. I love walking! I think I walk out of frustration/impatience/exercise. I used to walk the two miles to get across town to PSU. People thought I was weird because there was a “free”-ish streetcar that would take me there just as easily.

    Watch out for those mating deer. I have no idea what they are capable of.

  2. Ingrid says:

    Sometimes I fantasize about walking a really long distance, like to the coast. I think, If I took off right now, I could make it to the ocean in, like seven days! Wouldn’t that be fun? I am tempted to try it.

  3. Laura says:

    There are some evenings that I have a hard time coming home. I have wondered how long it would take me to walk from here to the valley too. You should look into the Hood to Coast event. I am almost positive that there are walking teams too. Maybe we could create a team… The Parmeter People walking team. Um, if we do end up creating a team… I probably shouldn’t be in charge of naming it!

  4. Kirstin says:

    There’s a book about a bunch of women taking off walking. I’m trying to remember the name of it- it was like walking therapy for them.
    I sometimes wonder too how far I could go if I just started walking. What would be fun sometime is to just start out and take a cell phone to call someone when it gets dark…

  5. Laura says:

    Oh that sounds too cool!!! Where should we meet?

  6. Laura says:

    The cell phone until it gets dark thing reminds me of a horrible thing that happened to me while I was out walking once. I had just gotten some new walking shoes and was so excieted about breaking in them in, that I rushed out forgetting my phone. When I was about half a mile out, I had the WORST shin splints. The pain was unbearable. I couldn’t walk anymore and wouldn’t you know, it was the day I forgot my phone! I hobbled all the way back home, wondering if I would ever make it alive. I swear, people probably wondered what the heck was stuck up my hind end because of the way I was walking. I even consitered crawling home… but that would have caused a whole other set of issues.

  7. Graham & Jenny Spence says:

    Boy Laura how you have grown up from your time in Upper Hutt. Pass onto you m
    mum and dad (love to hear from them)
    our love and to those other to wee rascals Ben and David.

    • laurasponders says:

      Oh my goodness! It’s good to hear from you! Sorry for the long delay of my reply… I have been to busy to check my blog site. I would love to catch up via email or Facebook if you are on that. I am not sure how at this point, since I don’t think this is a good place to share private info. I don’t know how to do it at this point, but I may get my technical husband to see if he can find your email through your comment on this blog. The last that I heard, you are grandparents just as my parents are. I am eager to hear how your girls are, I hope they are doing well. David and Ben aren’t so little anymore. Both have a young daughter each, and David is expecting a son in June. –Take care! –Laura

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