Recently, I had the privilege to visit a Naturopathic Physician and I can’t even begin to explain how nice that was. For years, I have been stuck with wondering why I have been so tired, and now I may know why.
So, what does this have to do with stupid cultural rules? It got me thinking when I mentioned to the Doctor, that I was shy and I must not be good at making friends. She chimed in and said “NO! that’s not the case!” According to her, our society doesn’t accept the working woman, nor the stay-at-home mother. I am not sure really, if that is what I am running into socially, but it got me thinking, and I realized that the cultural rules of our society has certainly affected me, and the way I think of myself.
So, I found out that due to a HUGE family history of auto immune disorders like rheumatoid arthritis, eczema, asthma, and extreme food allergies, that there is a very good chance that my exhaustion is due to some kind of food allergy that is not as obvious as our son’s which is life threatening.
Why on earth did it take so long for me to even come to this conclusion? The facts were right there in front of me for a very long time! Stupid cultural rules. That’s what I blame. I was blinded by stupid cultural rules. I wasn’t supposed to be tired according to the rules. So, I just pushed them away, forcing myself to get things done. Working mothers are supposed to do it all, and get it done efficiently, so that’s what I did. That is a lot to do, so of course I was exhausted. It wasn’t until I became a stay-at-home mom when I started to wonder. In my mind, it is a harder job physically, to be a working mother. Now, as a stay-at-home mother, I was even more physically tired. I had plenty of time to rest, well, more than when I was working. The household jobs that weren’t getting done when I was working were still not getting done, and I had to wonder what was going on there?
I told myself over and over again, I am supposed to be strong. That’s what a mother is supposed to be. She is supposed to take care of the children and make sure that house is spotless. So, what was freaking wrong with me! I was weak, that’s what it was. So, on I went, believing that the fact is, is that I wasn’t really that good at my job. Stupid cultural rules.
So now, I realize I am not weak or lazy, just dumb. I can’t change the fact that I have lived with this exhaustion for most of my adult life, but I can change my future and the way I think. I can’t wait until the blood results come back and I find out what’s causing my troubles. I also can’t wait to restructure my interpretation of cultural rules, and will begin to change myself. Mothers out there: you ARE strong. If you question yourself like I did, go on a quest to find out why you think that way, and promise yourself you will find a solution. Don’t push yourself to the side like I did because of stupid cultural rules!!!