Stupid cultural rules!

Recently, I had the privilege to visit a Naturopathic Physician and I can’t even begin to explain how nice that was.  For years, I have been stuck with wondering why I have been so tired, and now I may know why.

So, what does this have to do with stupid cultural rules?  It got me thinking when I mentioned to the Doctor, that I was shy and I must not be good at making friends.  She chimed in and said “NO! that’s not the case!”  According to her, our society doesn’t accept the working woman, nor the stay-at-home mother.  I am not sure really, if that is what I am running into socially, but it got me thinking, and I realized that the cultural rules of our society has certainly affected me, and the way I think of myself.

So, I found out that due to a HUGE family history of auto immune disorders like rheumatoid arthritis, eczema, asthma, and extreme food allergies, that there is a very good chance that my exhaustion is due to some kind of food allergy that is not as obvious as our son’s which is life threatening. 

Why on earth did it take so long for me to even come to this conclusion?  The facts were right there in front of me for a very long time!  Stupid cultural rules.  That’s what I blame.  I was blinded by stupid cultural rules.  I wasn’t supposed to be tired according to the rules.  So, I just pushed them away, forcing myself to get things done.  Working mothers are supposed to do it all, and get it done efficiently, so that’s what I did.  That is a lot to do, so of course I was exhausted.  It wasn’t until I became a stay-at-home mom when I started to wonder.  In my mind, it is a harder job physically, to be a working mother.  Now, as a stay-at-home mother, I was even more physically tired.  I had plenty of time to rest, well, more than when I was working.  The household jobs that weren’t getting done when I was working were still not getting done, and I had to wonder what was going on there? 

I told myself over and over again, I am supposed to be strong.  That’s what a mother is supposed to be.  She is supposed to take care of the children and make sure that house is spotless.  So, what was freaking wrong with me!  I was weak, that’s what it was.  So, on I went, believing that the fact is, is that I wasn’t really that good at my job.  Stupid cultural rules.

So now, I realize I am not weak or lazy, just dumb.  I can’t change the fact that I have lived with this exhaustion for most of my adult life, but I can change my future and the way I think.  I can’t wait until the blood results come back and I find out what’s causing my troubles.  I also can’t wait to restructure my interpretation of cultural rules, and will begin to change myself.  Mothers out there: you ARE strong.  If you question yourself like I did, go on a quest to find out why you think that way, and promise yourself you will find a solution.  Don’t push yourself to the side like I did because of stupid cultural rules!!!

2 comments on “Stupid cultural rules!

  1. Aunt Joyce says:

    I’m glad you’re getting to the bottom of your fatigue. Doug said you had dark circles under your eyes this last Sunday at the family affair in Woodburn. Fatigue is a real symptom that can be rooted in many different areas. Years ago I went to the Doctor for extreme fatigue thinking something terrible surely was wrong with me. It turned out that I was suffering from stress and simply needed to recognize that emotionally there were some very challenging things going on in my life and it was okay to mourn. I had spent so much of my life covering up my hurts that I had become very good at never letting anyone know how I truly felt.
    Being home with children is especially trying. No matter how blessed and grateful a mother feels for being able to raise her own children the job is challenging….. sometimes even boring! Good luck on pursuing the food allergy trail. I know many people who swear by a simple elimination of the offending allergen or allergens.

  2. laurasponders says:

    I have had the dark circles for a very long time, but they have graduated to circles with big old puffy bags lately. The doctor thinks that even though it could be allergies, there is a good chance that I am exhausted from a combination of things. Hormones could play a big role, as well as low iron and vitamin D. Plain and simple, my system is all screwed up. Although, the move out to an secluded area was very hard for me, I didn’t buy the idea that I was tired because the stress of being at home with kids. I agree that it is hard, and lonely, but I really felt deep down that there was something else to it.

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