10. You suddenly find yourself watching a myriad of reality shows after years ago vowing to never fall into their traps.
9. Your daily chores are designed around TV shows. The dishes while the TV is on, and the laundry during commercials.
8. The TV is set to closed captions so that you won’t miss anything while working out on your old, noisy exercycle.
7. You start enjoying the kid shows too… I kinda like Olivia.
6. You find that it is much safer to hunt for ghosts and prevent whale poachers with a TV screen in front of you.
5. Bedtime is determined by what is on TV.
4. You long to find a thick forest with lots of power lines so that you may catch a glimpse of a Sasquatch. According to the show where a bunch of people hunt for Big Foot, the big creatures use power lines as their personal highways. Hmmm… zip lines?
3. You start citing shows from the Science channel and any of the Discovery channels, and even the local news in discussions as if you were a darn living and breathing research paper.
2. You can’t wait to get your daily morning Whoopi. Now, now, I mean the show, The View, with Whoopi Goldberg (I love Whoopi Goldberg).
1. You resort to using an old David Letterman trick to explain why you have been on a very long writer’s block.